Monday Mantra

I can't remember if I mentioned before (I just made a really lame attempt at digging through the archives to figure it out) that I have selected six words to be focuses for me in 2013, with two months devoted to each.  For January and February that focus word has been COURAGE.

One of the compliments I receive fairly often is that I must be courageous for having battled cancer and turning down recommended surgery in favor of being monitored like mad by the folks at Massey.  But I'll tell you a secret - when it comes to big changes I'm the most cowardly lion around.  I get so wrapped up in the what-ifs that I usually end up deciding that the devil I know is preferable to the one I dont.  And then I stagnate and grow frustrated.

But in reflecting on the past this weekend, one thing became glaringly true - Each and every time I have followed my heart and my gut (or when I've been shoved forcefully in the direction they were telling me to go anyway) I have never regretted the outcome.  And I when I haven't listened so well - well, thats generally where a lot of heartache and pain came into the picture.

So in that vein - a few words for the week:

source

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You all know we passed a HUGE milestone last week, reaching the $10K mark on the way to $25,151.  Next stop?  The half way point!  I cant believe how close we are (just $2,317 away for anyone really counting)!  Even if you've already donated, you can help push us even further along.  Forward a link to this blog to your friends and family and encourage them to join the fight too.  All they have to do is click the button above and add their $10 to the pool.  We'll see $25,151 before we know it!

Friday Five

I'm more than a little sad to see this week end.  Partially because next week brings with it the end of the start of a what has been a really good year so far.  The 40 Day Challenge is wrapping up at Om On and (although I am REALLY excited to get a day or two to sleep in) I am really going to miss the daily 7am classes and the great people I have gotten to know in them. 

But Lent is also right on the horizon, which is a time of year I always really enjoy.  But it feels way too early this year.  My resolutions are just being settled into (and I am loving them, BTW) and thinking of something new and meaningful to commit to seems premature.  But I have ideas, and you know Ill report on what I've selected.

So what went down in this last week?  Here's a peek.

Hanging out with Worth at Virginia This Morning

Sometimes life just tells you to paint the stairs pink.

Best Superbowl watching buddy.  Well, second best to Lauren.

Everyone needs a friend they can kick in the ribs one day, and take to a fancy breakfast the next.

Pink.  Glitter.  Mustache.  Yes.

Team Spotlight - VCU Medical School

As I mentioned yesterday, I have a special fondness for the students at VCU Medical School.  I was their age when I was diagnosed with Hodgkins.  Many of them will make up the future of oncology in this country and hopefully - for a few of them - they will do that at Massey.

The first time I was asked to speak to these students, it was to a lecture hall full of first years as part of their genetics curriculum.  I was nervous - my understanding of cancer and my diagnoses is definitely a layman's understanding rather than a technical one.  I was afraid that I would use the wrong term, or seem ignorant to them, or use some statistic or figure that I thought was right but that they had just learned was wrong.

But they were so kind to me.  I have never been asked more questions - about my relationships with my doctors, about what patients need, about what living with my cancer risk is like.  I LOVED that morning with them.  And have grown to love all of my time with them.
  
So I was particularly excited last year when this rock star started the VCU Medical School Massey Challenge team:

(I'm sorry, Jamie - Its the only Challenge pic I have of the team!)

And I was even more excited to learn that they were back again this year, and that Jamie had recruited her classmate Emily to help her make this the largest VCU Medical School team yet!

As as side note, to off-set the not-so-great story from last Friday that I shared with you yesterday, I want to share one of the sweetest moments I have had in a long time today.  Although we had emailed back and forth for quite some time, Friday was the first time I actually met Emily.  She was even more sweet, enthusiastic, and graceful than I had expected.

As we walked together from the lecture hall to the lobby outside of the M1 and M2's next lecture, we chatted some about the Challenge and life generally.  All that time, I never put together the fact that Emily had been in one of the genetics classes I had spoken to.  Until she brought it up.  It was heartwarming to hear that some of the things I said had spoken to her. 

Sometimes I wonder if all the words we say to all these people in RVA really get through.  Thank you, Emily, for reminding me that they do.

Want to help Jamie, Emily, and the rest of VCU Medical School reach their goal?  Click here.

Milestones and Mean Guys

I have to kick today off with two words:

THANK YOU!

In just slightly (as in 4 little days) more than three months time, together we have raised over $10,000 to support the life-saving research happening at VCU Massey Cancer Center.

This is absolutely amazing.  And its thanks to so many of you who have not only donated  your money, but who have purchased t-shirts, attended the Masquerade for Massey, and forwarded my emails and status updates to your friends and family.  This journey to $25,151 - and to a cure - is a group effort and I thank each and every one of you for your help, love, and support.

But dont think you're off the hook yet!  We have another $15,142 to raise in the next 2 months and 8 days!

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Now on to more serious things.

It's easy write about all of the high points of the work I do with Massey. There are so many. But every once and awhile, something happens that can rock me to the core and remind me that there are some really difficult people to reach out there. No matter how often it happens - admittedly not a lot - it shocks me. Because who hasn't been touched by cancer? Who doesn't want us to find a cure?

I love each and every person and group I have the privilege of sharing my story with and of bringing the Massey mission to. And there are those who are extra close to me.

The students at VCU Medical School are very special to me and my life. I share my story with them in some of their lectures not only in hopes of helping them understand the needs of their future patients, but also in hopes that I can help them understand that they aren't too young to start thinking about their own health. After all - I was their age when I was diagnosed.  I also bring the Challenge to them to encourage them to forward the research that will play a role in their careers and offer treatments to their patients in the years to come.

Last Friday, I had the chance to help recruit members to the VCU Medical School Massey Challenge team. As usual it was 99% uplifting and heartwarming. Sharing my story in this safe environment, with all my vulnerabilities, is very rewarding.

Until...

"I don't have to deal with this f$(*!#g fundraising bulls#!t. I'm going to be an oncologist."

That came out of a medical student's mouth. Directed at me. And it has stuck with me, rather than the dozens of interested and sweet students or the kindest comments. No. It was this guy - this pretentious, selfish one - that I found myself ruminating on as I ran, baked, and tried not to get bored during the great Superbowl Power Outage Of 2013.

Why? After mulling it over, I think there are two big reasons.

First, there will be people - scared, struggling people - who will be this guy's patients. And unlike me, who had such incredible support from Dr. Ginder, these patients will have to deal with this attitude. This attitude coming from a doctor who doesn't care whether or not he can deliver to them the best possible treatments - or a cure - for the disease interrupting their lives; who disconnects himself from the research, treatment, and humanity so intimately integrated with cancer prevention. This part of me feels absolutely sick that he is studying in this school, only to have this attitude toward the people he will directly affect.

Second, I feel terribly for those incredibly trained and sensitive doctors who will be sharing a profession with this guy.  I never liked doctors until I met my father-in-law*.  To me, he will always be the epitome of what a professional should be. His manner is universal, and what I model when I conduct myself in my legal practice.  He is the definition of hard work and passion and discipline and love for a subject.  And of treating every person in his presence - whether a colleague or patient or volunteer - with the same level of respect and compassion.  The fact that he is perhaps one of the most highly regarded doctors in the world has never changed this in him - and you'd never guess he is so highly regarded amongst those in his profession to meet him on the street.  He is simply a kind and professional man.  Every other physician in the world should be proud to share a profession with him. Now, this pool of exceptional doctors will be tainted by the brash, inconsiderate, and unsympathetic attitude I encountered on Friday.

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Yesterday I had the privilege of attending Massey's Women & Wellness Forum Series, where I heard Lee Woodruff speak about her experience as caregiver to her husband, Bob Woodruff, following his traumatic brain injury. I'll have to paraphrase what she said, but it was along the lines of the following: that after just a day with Dr. Ginder, she knows that if she had to receive a cancer diagnosis, or bad news related to a loved one's diagnosis, he is the kind of doctor she would want to receive it from. Everyday I thank God for sending me Dr. Ginder - for sending him to so many of us.

This medical student's patients? They wont ever experience what I have experienced in being Dr. Ginder's patient. And that makes me sad.

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Now please, don't get me wrong. I don't expect every person out there to think funding cancer research should be our top priority. We all have causes close to our hearts. This one is mine.

*   *   *

To this guy directly (who I doubt would ever take the time to read a survivor's blog): To shit on my vulnerabilities, my history, and my hard work is equivalent of shitting on your patients directly. Without these funds, your patients are less cared for - and that should be your top priority as a doctor.   Either consider an adjustment to your disposition or an adjustment to your profession.

And yes, in electing to be an oncologist - or any other physician - you are certainly providing a service. But simply taking on the title of "oncologist" isn't enough.  You are placing yourself in the position of supporting, lifting up, and renewing the spirits of your patients. Of encouraging others to go out into the world and find better treatments and cures for the diseases of our world. There is responsibility far beyond running through a list of patients waiting in a clinic that comes with that title.

I sure hope you learn that before its too late.
______

*For those of you who don't know me other than through this blog - yes, I am divorced. Its something I choose not to blog about out of respect for my ex-husband's family, who I love dearly. If you have questions or need support going through a divorce, feel free to email me and I'd be happy to chat with you about it privately.

Running Streak Rehash - Week 12

Week twelve is done.  And it went out with a bang.  The kind of bang that results in a smashed iPhone screen.  Yeah - you know all those lessons in the Bible about not judging?  God totally called me on judging the careless folk whose screens look all jankety.

(I'm looking at you Jay Lugar.)

But the running must go on, and my sad Mac and I went on our not-so-merry way this morning to round out the 2nd longest run of the week.

Day 78 Wednesday January 30, 2013 - 2.37 miles
Day 79 Thursday January 31, 2013 - 2.00 miles
Day 80 Friday February 1, 2013 - 1.02 miles
Day 81 Saturday February 2, 2013 - 2.01 miles
Day 82 Sunday February 3, 2013 - 4.14 miles
Day 83 Monday February 4, 2013 - 1.01 miles
Day 84 Tuesday February 5, 2013 - 3.07 miles

Week Total - 15.62

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I'm also sending out an ENORMOUS "thank you" to everyone who hopped on board and purchased their "UNDER SURVEILLANCE" shirts in support of the cause.  You should be getting them super soon - and when you do - I want to see!  Shoot me a pic (you can find my email address in the "Kaity's 411" tab on this blog) so I can feature you and your shirt here!

This picture is totally irrelevant.  Ive just been dying to include it here.  #girlwholovesrandomsigns

And by the way, those 50 shirts sold put us within $100 of the $10,000 mark.  If you haven't contributed yet, you know the drill - click the "donate now" button above to help push us over the edge!

World Cancer Day

Your regularly scheduled Monday mantra is being interrupted today for the sake of something more important - World Cancer Day.  Although this day would be important to me regardless, the focus of World Cancer Day 2013 really struck a chord with me:

                    World Cancer Day 2013 (4 February 2013) will focus on Target 5

                  of the World Cancer Declaration: Dispel damaging myths and

                  misconceptions about cancer, under the tagline “Cancer - Did

                  you know?”. World Cancer Day is a chance to raise our collective

                  voices in the name of improving general knowledge around cancer

                  and dismissing misconceptions about the disease.

From here.

Most of you know by now that one of the things that motivates me is the desire to motivate others to help fund cancer research - and to recognize that it doesn't take large donations do to do that.  Every bit helps - be it $1 or $5 or $10.  When pooled together, those small donations make an enormous impact.  And will find the cure for cancer.

But another reason why I basically strip emotionally and healthfully buck-naked for all of #RVA is to help dispel the myths surrounding cancer.  Because there are still way too many.  So lets take a look at the four myths being focused on as part of World Cancer Day 2013.

Source

Myth 1: Cancer is just a health issue.

No.  Just . . . no. 

(Hang on, I have to get my hysterics under control before I continue.)

Its a financial issue.  How are you going to pay for your treatments?  Even with VERY good health insurance, it was just four years ago that I finally paid off the debt I accrued from co-payments and prescriptions.  Even today, each MRI and CT scan has to be budgeted for - WITH VERY GOOD HEALTH INSURANCE.  That cap on pre-tax health care spending accounts?  I blow through that like a Kardashian at Fashion Week.

Its a self-image issue.  "You don't look as much like a skeleton as I thought you would."  "Why, thank you . . . ?" (Yes - real conversation).  Will I still look like me through treatment?  After?  Will people wonder about my radiation tattoos?  Will i always notice them?  What about the surgery scars? 

Its an issue of how you see yourself fitting into society.  You might die.   You could have died.  What do all these people who havent experienced this know?  You are bald but didnt choose to be.  Who are these people to worry for hours about hair color?  How can you ever just be and fit in?  How can you ever be "normal" like everyone else again? 

Its a psychological issue. There is no such thing as "just a headache".  An extra-tiring run means you're headed home to fully examine all of your lymph nodes.  You see things in a way that few people can understand and when you find someone else who does you LATCH ON.  Tight. 

Myth 2: Cancer is a disease of the wealthy, elderly and developed countries.

I was 23 and pretty fresh out of college when I was diagnosed.  I was 22 when I first developed the symptoms that would lead to that diagnosis.  Cancer can happen to anyone.  Any where.  At any time.

Myth 3: Cancer is a death sentence.

Im still here.  Lots of people are still here.

Have we lost people?   Yes.  Too many.  And its awful.

But every day - and with every dollar - we make progress toward making the number of those we lose shrink right down.

Until one day it will be zero.

Cancer is not a death sentence.  And some day, it wont even make death a possibility. 

Myth 4: Cancer is my fate.

According to one of my oncologists, if it were statistically possible, I would have greater than a 100% chance of developing cancer again. 

BUT CANCER IS NOT MY FATE.

It is no one's fate. 

Why?

Because we can run, and practice yoga, and play soccer, and swim.  1 in 7 cancers can be prevented through a healthy and active lifestyle.

Because we can choose what goes into our bodies and what doesnt.  Im not perfect at this.  But I try.  And each time we pass up that 2nd beer or that drive through window, we tell cancer it wont be that easy to get to us.

Because we have the power to carry our end of the research bargain.  Researchers are 1/2 of the equation.  We are the other.  Its up to us to make sure they have the funds to continue to work on finding better treatments - and a cure.  Your $10 donation, partnered with hundreds of others' $10 donations - they have the power to ensure that we see that cure in our lifetimes.

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Want to do something help the fight in honor of World Cancer Day?  You still have a few hours to snag an "UNDER SURVEILLANCE" shirt - $15 from each sale benefits the groundbreaking research happening at VCU Massey Cancer Center.  Click here to get one before its too late!

The Friday Five

I'm about to head out for a wonderful Friday - chatting with Virginia This Morning all about the Massey Challenge - something I enjoy doing each year but made even more special this time around with Worth by my side.  Then its off to chat with some of the medical students over at VCU - their team is already up and running and we're hoping today will just make that enthusiasm spiral right out of control.  And we're wrapping it up with the internal launch of the Challenge over at Massey.  Im prepared to dole out lots of hugs to those folks who work every day to dole out something even better - second chances at life.

And theres a chance Lauren and I are working on a secret project in there too.  Stay tuned!

By the time yoga rolls around tonight, Ill need it!

What else happened this week?  Take a look:

We crossed the $9K mark this week, folks!  Thank you!!

Few things are better than a night on the town with besties.  And sequins.

Perfect Sunday morning

Loving my early morning yoga sessions.

Inspirational street art.