Courage

Wrapping up February also meant wrapping up my time with my first focus word of 2013:

Wrapping up my courageous months felt like a good time to throw a major fear of mine out there into the blogoverse (blogosphere?):

I am scared to death of becoming "the cancer girl"

Yup.  You read that right.

Greg and I have talked this one into the ground, but the fear still lingers in my mind.  I know speaking out about my experiences and circumstances is what I should be doing.  I have a unique position from which to speak to twenty-somethings about their own risks, the importance of their lifestyle choices, the care they need to take in listening to their bodies.  And I have a unique position from which to explain to people why their donations are so important to places like Massey.  After all, the odds are clearly in favor of my being the beneficiary of the work those donations make possible.  And I have a unique experience from which my passion for the subject matter is drawn.  And its a passion that I probably couldnt squelch even if I wanted to.

But as I speak more and more, and as I write more and more, and as I attend more and more events, people around RVA recognize me - and do so specifically in my capacity as "the girl who had cancer" or "the girl raising money for Massey" or "the girl who talks about the Massey Challenge".  Which is awesome.  So awesome.  It means something resonated with them enough that they remember.

But what about the other things that make me me?  Because, after all, part of what I love about Massey is the way its staff didn't allow me to lose those pieces of myself in favor of my cancer diagnosis.  They nurtured them instead - helping me study for the LSAT, reminding me that I would run again one day, discussing the books I was reading during chemo treatments.

So I find myself wondering, from time to time, if people will fail to notice those other parts - ones that I think are quite fabulous - because the word CANCER is obscuring all the rest.  The attorney, the vintage hound, the yogi, the dive bar addict, the flutist - will they all disappear into nothing in favor of my cause? 

I've often asked myself why I have been given the chance to survive when others have not, and I know part of the reason is so that I can spread awareness, create hope, and raise funds for research.  So maybe that means I am supposed to be "the cancer girl".  Maybe thats what its my job here to be.   

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Whats up next?  Patience.  A virtue I certainly could stand to have a bit more of.

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In other news - We're just $750 away from reaching 50% on the way to $25,151 - so close!  Want to help make that happen?  Donate now by following the link above.